jueves, 1 de agosto de 2013


Nostalgic look


Austral autumn morning, it had to be one of those when cold had getting stronger, because I remember myself with jacket and perhaps a scarf. I’ve arrived at the bus stop 10 minutes before, that time the bed allowed me to wake up and didn’t offer me more cosiness. My hands get freezing easily, I found getting warm in my pockets, meanwhile I put my earphones and turned on my mp3 player on random mode although I knew everything in it from A to Z, then I begin to relax myself and let me flow by the others’ phenotypes. With my sunglasses (part light sensitive eyes, part discreet) I proceed to realise my frequent scanning, e.g.: the blond dude with demi formal suit and sport cap has come (hiding some bad haircut, dunno); Also is the asian old & tiny lady with her snowy hair by her shoulders, I guess she has no more than 85 and always offers a smile to the bus driver, etc. Normally, like an eternal date on an agenda, here is usual to take the bus according a timetable, thus you’ll see always the same faces; I’ve seen a lot of and many characters are well known already, to see converge in a bus descendants from the four cardinal points every day is something remarkable, like to check a National Geographic magazine. I have many of these characters which I’ve created some background stories for my own enjoy, actually I have this tradition since I have memory, but that morning it was something that took me by surprise: her.

That day when I went up to, I didn’t see her until I took one of the last seats, was inevitable that my eyes dropped anchor her, her humanity make too much contrast in a country where the majority are European descendants. That dark chocolate colour, smoothly and shining as it can be presumed by her face and arms, has a unique value, very pretty, ancestral. Although her features weren’t refined at all, not become rough, just a simple beauty. Oh, she is carrying a baby coach, that’s why is close to the driver; I didn’t see the baby girl that morning but the next ones; meanwhile, she was wearing with a café overcoat and a stamped red and white scarf; her hair is short and very curly, I found strange that she is not using hair extensions or something similar but to be honest is not that bad, is even nicer to see her naturally. Then I saw her eyes, small and nostalgic, was like to see a deep well of sensations. Her look was lost most of the time looking outside by the window, meditative, which me made to speculate a thousand stories about why is she here?, when is she coming from?, what are she doing?, but after all, what’s the reason of her sadness?. That feeling despites to looks faint in her attitude, its soak her all like an invisible drizzle, seems to me that by the window is not watching Adelaide but a steppic plain land or a humid and equatorial landscape, and in the middle of this landscape there are things and people that aren’t anymore, or there are too far to giving her smile back. I let go then I see her steadily, she looks serious and she even smile to the baby that day, I’ve made empathy with that feeling which it should have something of homesick because I feel similar, but it has to be something more, much more. Following by the clichés with join the stereotypes by default on our neurons, I guess her life was marked by rejections, hard work, that sadness has many tones to be just because wake up with the wrong foot. She found me looking at her, suddenly I glanced down my eyes and pretending checking my pone then I wait some prudent moments to continue my checking, I was needed more information because her simplicity it was overwhelms.

That day, like the next ones, she drop off at the same bus stop as me at Grote St, and now that I remember I haven’t checked where she is going after, I won’t be more indiscreet. Because now I’m taking a 15 minutes earlier bus I can’t see her, but the times when I delay myself and must wait until 8, she is coming inside the bus most of times. Last times I saw she was smiling a little, all for her baby girl, without showing her teeth (never saw them), perhaps shyness. I hope she’d founded more reasons to smile even though nostalgia is tattooed on her soul, as on mine’s, indelible but also sometimes an endless source of energy to continue.

JLGQ, 01/08/13.

(puedes leer este articulo en Español aqui)

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